Is Married For Life Even Possible? And If So, Where Are The "Marriage Hacks?"

The short answer is: YES.

The next short answer is: they aren’t really hacks as much as tools, and I’M SHARING!!!

Everything I have learned through intentional growth over the last 30+ years I have first practiced at home in my marriage and family relationships, and then began teaching them. The older I get, having proven them in my own life, I am teaching them more and more. In one on one mentoring, in small and large groups, on stages, on podcasts, in my book, and now in my Growth Tables. Soon….I will be releasing online courses. But more on that in a bit.

I am not perfect, and I am married to a man who is not perfect, and together we aren't even close to perfect. We got messier when we joined our lives because two messy people don’t make it cleaner. If you’ve been married longer than a few hours, I bet you know what I mean. (am I selling it? ;) )⁠

We have spent the larger part of our lifetime taking what we learn, and allowing it to make us BETTER; better at expressing ourselves, better at really listening to one another, and better at serving one another on purpose and as much as we are able to: with joy.⁠

In a world that tells you to "do you" and "find your happiness," I think a big piece is seriously missing in those well-meaning but misplaced mantras: sometimes, dare I say many times you need to do what's best for someone else rather than obsessing over what or what else can make you happy.⁠ In fact, oftentimes the great script flip is when you do something that is NOT in search of your own happiness, but rather in pursuit of thinking of someone else’s needs; you actually find happiness.

Or joy, rather. Which is much deeper than happiness and lasts longer. But thats a whole other lesson I learned to share for another day.

For today, I’ll just say that sometimes you'll simply need to trust that you’ll find JOY in the middle of the mess, and trust that the other person will do the same.⁠

Sometimes you have to press into "the boring" to shake it up again when you've hit a rut.⁠

Sometimes you need to love someone through a hard-to-love season.⁠

Trust me: we’ve experienced mess, boredom, and hard-to-love seasons. And we kept choosing to allow God to soften our hearts to one another and to give us a breakthrough for our selfishness to come back together stronger. And HE DID. Time and time again.

The God who designed marriage didn’t tell us to stay together and then leave us to it in the dark. No, when we invite him in regularly and are willing to not get exactly our way but to compromise and grow back together and heal with love, forgiveness, and letting go of past infractions: he is a very real and active Participant in this marriage. And he made things work that we NEVER could have on our own.

It’s not a happy little fairy tale bible-book story ending, it’s a hard-fought win that stripped-down our desire to love and serve self, to better love and serve one another. Our person. One choice at a time. For a lifetime. For the bigger picture: living a great lifestory, which includes a great LOVEstory.

God’s vision for marriage for life is possible with God and with our willingness to surrender for the greater good of the two of us rather than just me.

After so many years of looking for tools, using the tools, finding them to work not just for me, but for KC who is radically different than me, then for our kids who are radically different that both KC and I, for the people I have mentored one on one, in small group studies, and in both small and large groups on stages, podcasts, and in my book. Now, after decades of investing in learning all about healthy boundaries and applying what I’ve learned in my relationships at home, in the communities I show up in, and in the marketplace; now more than ever I believe that THIS is how to impart and infuse change in the world. Empowering people to have healthy relationships for a more deeply fulfilling life and love experience… for life, as much as it depends on them.

This April 2026, I’ll be releasing my first online course Real-Life Marriage Prep Mentoring Course. I’ve used this course with couples for years and it has helped launch countless pairs into marriage through aligning discussions around expectations for how they want to design their one-of-a-kind lovestory, and then how to navigate the terrain once the ink is dried on the license. If you’re interested, be sure you’re signed up for my LifeStory Strategies Newsletter HERE. (scroll to the bottom of the page)

I’ve spent a lifetime growing and learning and teaching and training, and now I’m looking to expand all I’ve learned through reading and research and share tips and tools with you here on the BLOG and also in my LS (LifeStory Strategies) Newsletter, so be sure you’re signed up! (*Sign up at the bottom of the home page of my website!)

Helping you live your GREAT lifestory!

TRACI :)